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  • Writer's pictureChris Siders

sincerely, a black boy's cry Liner Notes X Lyrics X Music Video(s)

sincerely, a black boy’s cry.




This song was birth out of pure rage and anger. The foundation of this project. In my idea of Emancipation, to release everything authentically I knew I had to let out emotions uncensored.


To first part of the song, is just letting my monster, BushWick BiLLy, speak for a change. When rapping about murder, drive-bys & violence it’s all a way to describe the emotion I’m feeling. Instead of saying, “I’m angry” I’m going to show & make you feel how angry I am.


When my inner monster, made his debut on my first album with “Warning” (BushWick BiLLy’s Theme) I was talking about violence to illustrate the darker side of Chris Siders. The one that quite honestly sometimes I want to beat someone down when provoked or disrespected.


Then the thing is as black men growing up the access to emotions isn’t granted until we implode and eventually turns external. Turning to violence is an act of crying for help sometimes. Being ridiculed for crying and being emotional is the allure of toxic masculinity. It’s like you not going to hear me speak in the most vulnerable sense, I’ll make sure you hear me with a fist in your mouth.


Becoming more mature since my teenage years I understand you have to figure out ways to channel that anger or else there will be dire consequences. I use music. I use poetry. I use my art. What I’m also understanding now self-care and processing needs to be apart of that. This past weekend at a friend’s birthday party, I gotten some news and reflected a bit on where things are headed in regards to my relationships with people and the darker side of myself wanted to rage. I took every little thing wrong earlier in the night. I sat by myself a chunk of time then eventually I started to implode and I had to leave. I left to catch the bus at midnight.


I never acted out on my thoughts or feelings of violence since I was in high school.


Its fear to show face when feeling low. Showing face when feeling low give others the opportunity to kick you when you down.




The transition in the song: the voicemail is the last voicemail my Dad ever sent me. He always got on me about where I’m at, what I’m doing and to check in. Never been the best at checking in because my mind is at a million places at one time. In the background you can hear a gang member approaching a 12 year old Chris Siders. What this entire skit means is that when shit happens in the world, the reality is, I won’t have my father anymore. My pops was the first one there when I was at 12 years old by those grown ass gang members. My friend, Rebecca, always told me you need to speak to little Chris. My inner child. This song is bridging that world of inner child and inner monster. Like okay what are we going to do when confronted with situations? Must act accordingly. Thats where the second half of the song comes into play. A reclaiming of Chris Siders. I paint the picture even more of where I come from in South Central LA. The history of violence that inflicts our mental and emotional capacities. While saying “fuck you bitch I’m going up high” I still shame myself for having those moments of arrogance or confidence in secret.


Originally both parts of sincerely a black boys cry was going to be a ShadowsOfSociety song with Jay & Wise now known as Verdezul. I made these beats back in 2021. If I recall correctly we written a little bit to that first beat but nothing stick so we didn’t finish it. The other part of the song, there was ideas, but didn’t know what to talk about on it.




Lyrics:


pull up on ya block

let it spray

Uh uh

catch my fucking fade

throwing shade

Uh uh

Run yo shit

and know your damn place

Uh uh

heavy is the hand

that thrown it all away

for what?


On sight bitch

On sight bitch

Hm hm

On sight bitch

On sight bitch

Hm hm


say Im still trippin

for crying all the time


say Im still trippin

being down on my mind

say Im still trippin

putting all in a rhyme

say im still trippin

say im still trippin


say Im still trippin

for crying all the time


say Im still trippin

being down on my mind

say Im still trippin

putting all in a rhyme

say im still trippin

say im still trippin


*gunshot*

Steve Siders Voicemail plays


Second part of song starts


Chorus:


Fuck you

bitch

we going up high (x4)


Verse:


Product of battering rams

get on the floor

square up bitch

I’m kicking

in the door

ain’t no love

I trust no girl

get them bands

Show no emotion

South Central

LA

madvillianz

making doomsday

during your stay

mr fuck around

and find out

having no

patience


Bridge:

Ride with my niggas huh

Mind your fucking business huh

Its me against the world huh (x2)


just some angry humans


y'all don't know my mind

y'all don't know Chris Siders


Fuck you bitch (4x)


Fuck you

bitch


we going up high (x4)

Sound:


I absolutely love the dark memphis, and chopped and screwed sound so the idea for the first beat of the song was to merge those world with a grand piano. Throw some 808’s on there to make it knock.


The second part of the beat came out interesting. I found a nice soulful sample and wanted to challenge myself to create something out of my range. It came out as beat similar to Clams Casino type of production. Very muddy 808’s. Brooding drums. Slow pitched down sample. It came out pretty dope.

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